Don't Pick the Scab

So, I seem to never be able to learn, and I keep making the same mistake over and over.


This week, someone did something that hurt my heart, wounded me deeply. She apologized right away, and I frankly forgave her in my heart. But thennnnnnnnnnnnnn, I repeated the situation to a family member. When I should have just put the whole thing aside, forgotten about it. Repeating the incident completely reopened the wound!


Immediately, I realized what I'd done. Why? Why did I do that to myself? And to the person who hurt me and apologized? It wasn't necessary. The wound could have healed, but I picked the scab.


Luckily, given the opportunity twice over afterward to retell the story, I resisted! The wound has not reopened, and the scab is starting to heal already (thanks not in small part to a wonderful experience listening to General Conference.)


So maybe I am learning something. SLOWLY. Foolishly.


This is the lesson to me: when I'm hurt, it doesn't help to share the pain with someone else. Especially if the incident is no longer an issue.


Let it go, they say. Let it go.
It's time to forgive. It's time to FORGET.

Three Simple Steps to Getting More From the Scriptures

This morning as I was reading the scriptures, I came across the phrase "feasting upon the words of Christ" as a suggestion for how we can press forward with faith.
As I saw it, I thought about how that's even possible. I mean, some days I'm reading and I know it's more of my standing at a buffet while I'm on some wacky diet, where I can only snag a floret of raw broccoli or a tablespoon of bacon bits--and yet I know all that is there and available to me, but I just am not partaking.
So how can I FEAST?
I remember hearing this formula over the years, and it's so simple, like reaching for more food at the buffet, and eventually allows me to fill up my plate.

1) Make a list of my biggest concerns/challenges today--stuff that perplexes or troubles me.

Maybe it's a problem with parenting, or with other relationships. Maybe it's health or financial challenges. Maybe it's a spiritual worry or doubt creeping up. Maybe it's a doctrinal question--something that has been challenged by my interactions with the world.

2) Pray about the thing(s) on the list.

3) Open the scriptures and actually search for answers.

If the topic doesn't readily appear in the daily reading I'm doing, I can use one of the indexes of topics, or maybe follow a footnote, or pray to know where to read.


That's it. Maybe the full answer to the perplexity won't TA-DA! appear all at once, but I've never done this where I didn't at least come across a portion of a solution, whether it's just a sense of peace that helps me hang on while the answer is still percolating.


It seems almost too simple to be effective, but literally YEARS of doing this has shown me that it's real and that it works. I will admit to not using it consistently, and to floundering in darkness or despair until I remembered aha! to get back to the basics of feasting on the words of Christ to solve my dilemmas.


I'm so thankful for the feast that the scriptures are to my soul. Especially when I come hungry to them, I am always filled.

We Talk of Christ

As I was reading this week, I found this scripture that Nephi wrote. It's found in 2 Ne 25:26.


 26 And we talk of Christ, we rejoice in Christ, we preach of Christ, we prophesy of Christ, and we write according to our prophecies, that our children may know to what source they may look for a remission of their sins.


I have always loved that scripture, but it hit me with force this time. Is this how things are in my home? Am I speaking with enthusiasm and joy about Christ to my children? I know I talk about church, we read scriptures together, we do family home evening lessons on Monday nights, but is Christ often a topic of conversation? Am I rejoicing in Christ so that my children can hear it? I know I will call my mom and dad and tell them about miracles in my life or blessings I know have come from the Savior, but do I tell my children?


If so, is it often enough?


I want all these answers to be a resounding yes.

Reading Between the Lines, Opening the Books and Opening our Souls

Today as I was reading some chapters in Isaiah, after a very stressful few weeks, I found the message that seemed to seep into my heart to detox from all the stress I've been feeling was that I needed to spend some time outside, to look at the sky and at God's beautiful creation, and also that I should bring some order to my home.


These brought me peace, as reading the scriptures frequently does, and as I followed the inspiration things in my life felt much healthier, for lack of a better word.


However, after a while, I decided to go back and look at the verses that had inspired me, and there's really nothing about the beauties of nature, nothing about bringing order to my home, nothing about any of that.


All I can think is that the Holy Ghost prompted my mind to see things that weren't really there, things that could bring me peace and healing, showed me between the lines.


I think reading the scriptures, whether the very printed words answer our deepest concerns or not, opens us up to the inspiration we need in our lives.


So, I guess it could be a couplet, of sorts:


OPEN THE SCRIPTURES and
OPEN YOUR SOUL TO DIRECTION FROM GOD.

The Chosen Ones (and How To Be One)

As a writer and a reader, I love the "chosen one" stories as much as the next guy. Harry Potter? The chosen one. Luke Skywalker, Annakin too, chosen. Leven Thumps, chosen. The list goes on.


I think these themes resonate with us because we all secretly wish we were the chosen one, special, set apart, meant for higher things than groveling in the lowlands of oppression.


Over the millennia of recorded history, there has been that same theme, and we find it in the Old Testament. Joseph of Egypt was chosen. So was Moses. Chosen to deliver their people.


But what if they hadn't heeded the call to be chosen? What if they'd ignored it, done nothing, refused to obey the call. Would they still be chosen? Not exactly.


So, am I chosen? Are you? Who is?


I have wondered this from time to time. I think there was some annoyance from the surrounding tribes when the People of Israel showed up saying they were the Chosen People. It might incite animosity--possibly (likely) based on jealousy. Chosen of God. Wow. That's a big claim.


But how does it originate? What about those questions posed above, the ones about those who refuse the call? And if someone is chosen, does that mean they're better/more loved/the favorite child/more important? Does this even mean God could be unfair to some of His children?


I found a scripture that seems to answer that question. It comes from 1 Nephi 17:35 in the Book of Mormon.


 35 Behold, the Lord esteemeth all flesh in one; he that is righteous is favored of God. But behold, this people had rejected every word of God, and they were ripe in iniquity; and the fulness of the wrath of God was upon them; and the Lord did curse the land against them, and bless it unto our fathers; yea, he did curse it against them unto their destruction, and he did bless it unto our fathers unto their obtaining power over it.


Clarity! God loves us all the same. The way to be chosen? It's for US to choose HIM.


That turns the whole concept on its ear for me.


To be chosen, all I need to do is choose His ways, be reliable, be a daughter He can count on to do what He needs done with the capacity He has given me.


What a gracious, fair, praiseworthy God we have.

Marriage Blessing

I have been reading the Book of Mormon, with a goal to read the entire thing from start to finish again, as part of my Personal Progress goals as a Young Women leader.


Lately, I had been thinking about what a blessing my husband is to me. He really steadies me when my boat rocks. He gives me good counsel when I need it. He is the calm in my storm. He lets me help him too, and I see us as a good team. We're not much alike, but we like each other. That's a gift.


As I read the Book of 1 Nephi, Nephi mentions the day he is married. These are his words.


7 And it came to pass that I, Nephi, took one of the daughters of Ishmael to wife; and also, my brethren took of the daughters of Ishmael to wife; and also Zoram took the eldest daughter of Ishmael to wife.

 8 And thus my father had fulfilled all the commandments of the Lord which had been given unto him. And also, I, Nephi, had been blessed of the Lord exceedingly.

I love that he considers his marriage to be a gift from God, and that by it he has been "blessed of the Lord exceedingly."

This is my sentiment. I hope and pray my own children will find their own blessed marriage someday when their time is right. A happy marriage is something beautiful, and while no marriage is perfect, the goal can be to approximate the ideal--even as imperfect individuals--and look on the gift of marriage as being blessed of the Lord exceedingly.

The End Result of All this Commandment Stuff

In July I was asked to speak in church. It's one of the big, scary things about being a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints: we have no paid ministry, and the lay members of the church have the "opportunity" to speak in front of the congregation from time to time. Seeing the bishop's number on your caller ID can strike fear in the heart.


Well, my turn rolled around again. This time, the topic was charity.


Sure, I thought. Charity. That's really a nice topic. It's love. I love love. I think about love all the time.
But as I studied, I realized that charity was so, so much more than just plain love.


I'm not going to copy and paste my entire talk into this blog wholesale. (You're welcome.) Instead, I'm going to just note one scripture that I found. I'd been trying to dig around in the scriptures and find out just what a person can do to develop charity (because if you've done much reading on the subject, you know that "without charity" man is "nothing." And that's in there frequently enough to give you a little bit of a scare, if you start to think about it very much.) So, how do I get it?


I Timothy 1:5
 5 Now the end of the commandment is charity out of a pure heart, and of a good conscience, and of faith unfeigned:


Mainly, the first phrase is what struck me. That "the END of the commandment is charity." I think it's meaning the end result. And I think the word commandment might be singular to sound poetic. So, my interpretation of this is that the end result of my obedience to God's commandments is the development of charity in my soul.


Well, that...sounded interesting. So I started delineating a few commandments as I put it to the test.


For instance, the commandment to forgive. Yes, obviously! If I forgive, it's my way of thinking that Christ's atonement and love are BIG ENOUGH for EVERYONE, and that there isn't anyone I'd deny that great love to. (And the corollary of this, is that when I do not forgive, it's my way of saying to the Lord, sure. Forgive me because I deserve it. But that guy? He's doesn't. The Atonement isn't big enough for THAT guy. Uh, that doesn't sound good when I put it that way, right?) Anyway, the end result of forgiving others is, voila, charity.


But what about fasting? We have a commandment to fast. (See Isaiah 58 if you want an incredibly beautiful treatise on fasting. Ahhh, it fills me.) When we fast, we also donate the amount of money we would have spent on food that we fasted from to the bishop so he can use it to bless the poor. That's developing self control, giving of ourselves, sacrifice, and loving others more than we love our own passions. Charity.


Extrapolate this with commandment after commandment. It holds up.


And so, I guess the point is, if we want to measure up with charity at the last day and have things be "well with us," to paraphrase Moroni 7:47, a great place to start is by ramping up our obedience to the commandments of God. For all commandments are, if we look closely, attributes of God, the greatest of all being LOVE.


I love how cohesive the scriptures are. How beautiful and rich is the doctrine of God.