Milestones

My friend Brad has a fun question he posts every Sunday night on his Facebook page, inviting others to comment with the single best thing they experienced that Sabbath day.

After I added mine, I thought about how it's time for me to focus more on gratitude and looking for the good things in life. 2019 has been a fallin'-down-the-mountain kind of year for me, with several unprecedented and nearly crushing challenges. Some have not ended. Some might not ever abate. It's been hard to see the bright lights through the fog, but thanks to Brad's request, I have two I am focusing on and will share here.

What was your best thing on Sunday?

Sacrament meeting! And it was great for two reasons. One, my son reported his mission to Alabama, and hearing his mature and deep explanation of a doctrinal topic was amazing. He's grown a lot. I love these milestones. They're years of preparation and hundreds of hours of struggle and study in the making. 

Second, my daughter substituted as the organist for the congregation. First time ever. I could barely breathe, thinking how terrified I'd be if I were the one on that bench (especially because our building's organ seems haunted and sometimes just blasts loud chords out of nowhere.) But she handled it perfectly, kept the tempo, didn't miss notes. It was a pure thrill for me--and I kept thinking, everyone is singing along, but maybe they don't realize this moment was nine years of lessons and however many hundreds of hours of practice in the making. I loved that milestone as well.

It makes me stop and ponder what moment is yet to come in my other children's futures where I'll think wow, this moment was decades in the making! Also, for myself. What lies ahead, and what am I really working toward? Most of all, I want it to be that moment when I present myself, as well as the record of my life, my love, my relationships, my experiences, my study and struggles and suffering and repentance and dependence on Him at the feet of the Lord. I'm praying He will receive it all and tell me He accepts the growth and progress as my offering.

How Sunday Church is Like a Computer Systems Operation from the 1990s

When I was a new college graduate, I got a dream job of working as a staffer for the U.S. House of Representatives. My duties included answering phones, writing letters to constituents, and researching agriculture issues.

After a while, I was promoted to office manager. This mostly meant that I kept up with ordering the toner for the fax machine and printer, and calling the tech support line when one of the computers or phones went down. So glamorous.

Back in those days, computers were quite a bit slower. (I mean, the internet was new enough that there were no youtube videos, just randomly emailed viral videos like the very creepy Dancing Baby.)

When a computer in the office got unbearably slow, sometimes my duties involved performing a “defrag,” or defragmentation on it. I’d go to the control panel and run the system defrag, which took all the little bits of scattered data throughout the system and re-ordered it. Instead of being all over the place, the operation set the data into neat rows, freeing up empty space, getting rid of “bad sectors” and making everything neat and tidy. After a defrag, the computer always ran much more smoothly.

Watching the little video of the defrag in process was very satisfying. It felt like chaos was being trounced, and order reigned.

I was thinking of this on Friday night when I attended the temple. Going there, feeling the sweet, calm spirit of that building, getting away from the cares and struggles that had perplexed me all week, I realized the chaos I’d been facing due to a (minor) health challenge, as well as some residual stress from a (good but tough) family situation, seemed to be placed in order.

In fact, I felt just like the Lord was providing a defrag for my inner soul.

This is often how I feel on Sundays at church. I can take the sacrament, review my week, put my heart and mind and priorities in order. I can take stock of what I left undone, and what I need to do better. I often will be prompted during that time as to how I can serve my neighbors or my family. It’s a good, good time. I need it. I need it every single week. My system runs more smoothly. Feeling it happen is very satisfying. I don’t know how I could deal with life’s chaos if I didn’t have the regular defrag going to church and the temple provides.

So, I guess what I'd say is that if you haven't tried it or haven't tried it lately, I highly recommend regular church attendance. It’s a rest and a way to find peace for the soul.

The Chosen Ones (and How To Be One)

As a writer and a reader, I love the "chosen one" stories as much as the next guy. Harry Potter? The chosen one. Luke Skywalker, Annakin too, chosen. Leven Thumps, chosen. The list goes on.


I think these themes resonate with us because we all secretly wish we were the chosen one, special, set apart, meant for higher things than groveling in the lowlands of oppression.


Over the millennia of recorded history, there has been that same theme, and we find it in the Old Testament. Joseph of Egypt was chosen. So was Moses. Chosen to deliver their people.


But what if they hadn't heeded the call to be chosen? What if they'd ignored it, done nothing, refused to obey the call. Would they still be chosen? Not exactly.


So, am I chosen? Are you? Who is?


I have wondered this from time to time. I think there was some annoyance from the surrounding tribes when the People of Israel showed up saying they were the Chosen People. It might incite animosity--possibly (likely) based on jealousy. Chosen of God. Wow. That's a big claim.


But how does it originate? What about those questions posed above, the ones about those who refuse the call? And if someone is chosen, does that mean they're better/more loved/the favorite child/more important? Does this even mean God could be unfair to some of His children?


I found a scripture that seems to answer that question. It comes from 1 Nephi 17:35 in the Book of Mormon.


 35 Behold, the Lord esteemeth all flesh in one; he that is righteous is favored of God. But behold, this people had rejected every word of God, and they were ripe in iniquity; and the fulness of the wrath of God was upon them; and the Lord did curse the land against them, and bless it unto our fathers; yea, he did curse it against them unto their destruction, and he did bless it unto our fathers unto their obtaining power over it.


Clarity! God loves us all the same. The way to be chosen? It's for US to choose HIM.


That turns the whole concept on its ear for me.


To be chosen, all I need to do is choose His ways, be reliable, be a daughter He can count on to do what He needs done with the capacity He has given me.


What a gracious, fair, praiseworthy God we have.

"Isogashii." A Japanese Word For...

I spent seventeen months in Japan as a missionary a couple of decades ago. Most readers of this blog probably know that. (Most readers of this blog are ... me.)


While I was there, I remember anxiously trying to contact several different families to have them continue with their missionary lessons. But at some point their answer had become, "Ah, isogashii." Japanese for "busy."


I know, I know. People are genuinely busy. There are a lot of demands in modern life. Moreover, there are distractions. There are things we sign ourselves up for that are like a huge time-sucking vortex. Sports, music lessons, clubs, community organizations. Each one may be worthy of our time and attention. But they do make us busy.


And yeah, I know that sometimes the words "I'm busy" is just code for "I don't really want to prioritize that" or "I'm not actually interested." That's just human nature.


Worst, in my case, "I'm busy" can sometimes be code for "I'm too self-absorbed."


But when we are instead filling our days and evenings and lives with things that don't matter as much as the "weightier matters," what are we trading? I think it's a dangerous drift when we let our kids get really busy with activities to where they can't attend family dinners on a regular basis, or they miss their church meetings or don't have time to serve others. Or not just our kids--ourselves.


Sometimes the good is the enemy of the best. Sometimes busy is the enemy of the best, also.


I keep telling myself, if I'm too busy to help a friend in need, I'm too busy. If my kids are too busy to go to their Wednesday night activity at church regularly, they are too busy and need to reevaluate their time. If our family is too busy to eat dinner together, then it's time to chop some activities. Because I don't want the BEST to fall victim to the GOOD.