To Live in a House By the Side of the Road and Be a Friend to Man

Two weeks ago I went to visit my parents, along with my three siblings, and we celebrated their 50th anniversary, just the six of us, together. It was a sweet, blessed time. Fifty years of trials and togetherness is a real accomplishment in these days of disposable commitments, and several people in recent days have told me they look to my parents in their age and their happiness together and see their love for one another as a shining example of "the way things can be." I couldn't agree more.

While I was home, my dad introduced me to a poem called "The House By the Side of the Road."  My dad was telling a story about a neighbor of his, Bishop Cleve Bodily, who had come to my younger sister's rescue one day when her truck caught on fire on the way to high school in front of Bishop Bodily's house. He came running out with a fire extinguisher to help my sister and helped her get the problem under control. My sister then caught a ride to school in a passing car. But Bishop Bodily wasn't through helping. By the end of the school day, he had replaced the hose (it was really a radiator problem, not an actual fire, as it appeared). He then brought the truck to the school for her and left the keys in the office.

My dad said, "I shared this poem with the people of Bishop Bodily's ward because I knew this was the type of man he was."

As I heard the poem, I realized, this is the type of man my dad was--always. Moreover, it's the type of person, at my core, that I long to be, even though I'm weak and self-absorbed, and often too "busy" to be aware of the needs of people around me. At least I know what I long to be.

Last weekend, we went to a wedding reception for the daughter of some friends who I think embody this poem. Do you have someone you know who is like this? Whose self-effacing service blesses all who meet them?

The House by the Side of the Road

by Sam Walter Foss

"He was a friend to man, and lived
In a house by the side of the road."
-- Homer

There are hermit souls that live withdrawn
In the place of their self-content;
There are souls like stars, that dwell apart,
In a fellowless firmament;
There are pioneer souls that blaze their paths
Where highways never ran-
But let me live by the side of the road
And be a friend to man. -

Let me live in a house by the side of the road,
Where the race of men go by-
The men who are good and the men who are bad,
As good and as bad as I.
I would not sit in the scorner's seat,
Or hurl the cynic's ban-
Let me live in a house by the side of the road
And be a friend to man. -

I see from my house by the side of the road,
By the side of the highway of life,
The men who press with the ardor of hope,
The men who are faint with the strife.
But I turn not away from their smiles nor their tears,
Both parts of an infinite plan-
Let me live in a house by the side of the road
And be a friend to man.

I know there are brook-gladdened meadows ahead
And mountains of wearisome height;
That the road passes on through the long afternoon
And stretches away to the night.
But still I rejoice when the travelers rejoice.
And weep with the strangers that moan,
Nor live in my house by the side of the road
Like a man who dwells alone. -

Let me live in my house by the side of the road-
It's here the race of men go by.
They are good, they are bad, they are weak, they are strong,
Wise, foolish- so am I;
Then why should I sit in the scorner's seat,
Or hurl the cynic's ban?
Let me live in my house by the side of the road
And be a friend to man.

What if we were all like this? Noticing others' needs? How much more of a connected, blessed state of being! Think of the Savior, whose life was spent in being good, and in touching the lives with whom he interacted. All who met Him were touched and blessed and uplifted.

I heard my uncle say once, "We all have a sphere of influence. The older I get I realize how small mine is, but how vital my role is within that sphere." If we're on the house by the side of the road, ready to receive those who pass our way, we're ready to embrace others into our sphere, even if it's for a short time.

I hope I can be your friend if you're passing by my house.

The Misunderstood Sam Situation

I've started over reading the Book of Mormon again. My usual pattern is to read a chapter a day, and read through it and then start over. In this way, I've read it dozens of times in my life and love its insights and the strength it gives me every day.

The other interesting thing I'm sure most who love scripture have experienced is that in each read-through, I notice something a little different. Something jumps out at me I hadn't caught before. 

This time, it was something Nephi's brother Sam did--or didn't do. He didn't pray. But it's not why you might initially think.

In chapter 2 of 1 Nephi, Lehi teaches his sons. Basically, he's lecturing his two oldest sons, and they're on what they must think is an extended camping trip outside the walls of Jerusalem. The lecture ends, and Laman and Lemuel just complain. 

Nephi, though, realizes he wants to believe his father, so he prays that his heart will be softened. Then, the Holy Ghost tells Nephi that the words Lehi has taught are true. The Lord softens Nephi's heart so he can believe--and not rebel, like Laman and Lemuel did.

It's great to see Nephi's faith. It's also good to note that Nephi, too, had an initial struggle with believing the words of his father, the prophet. In a way, he's like the broken man who comes to Christ and says, "I believe, Lord, help thou mine unbelief."

There are a lot of lessons for me to take from this.

However, the thing that jumped out at me this time is Nephi's conversation with Sam in verse 17. Right after Nephi's spiritual experience, he goes to his confidante, his older brother Sam, and:

17 And I spake unto Sam, making known unto him the things which the Lord had manifested unto me by his Holy Spirit. And it came to pass that he believed in my words.

Sam doesn't require a big, earth-shattering experience in order to believe. He simply hears his younger brother's testimony, and he believes. He doesn't pray to have his heart softened because his heart is already there, ready to receive truth and testimony. (Although, it's not impossible that he'd already had his own spiritual manifestation during his father's teaching and Nephi simply doesn't record it.)

Actually, this happens several times in the Book of Mormon. During their time in the cave when the angel comes, and other times when Nephi needs backup, Sam is Nephi's ally. This grows and grows throughout their lives, and even continues in the Promised Land.

Lehi notes this, and in his final blessing of his sons before his death, he says to Sam in 2 Nephi chapter 4, 

11 And after he had made an end of speaking unto them, he spake unto Sam, saying: Blessed art thou, and thy seed; for thou shalt inherit the land like unto thy brother Nephi. And thy seed shall be numbered with his seed; and thou shalt be even like unto thy brother, and thy seed like unto his seed; and thou shalt be blessed in all thy days.

You hear about Nephites, Lamanites, Lemuelites, Zoramites, Jacobites, and Josephites in certain spots throughout the history that Mormon records, but there's never a mention of Samites. Instead, his posterity is, as Lehi said, numbered with that of the chosen prophet, Nephi. He aligns himself so completely with the prophet, and with God, that (from what I surmise) he refuses personal recognition.

Time and again, I have heard people teaching the Book of Mormon and saying that Sam was the wishy-washy one, or that he was "just there." However, I want to dispel that rumor.

In his defense, I want to point out that he was humble, faithful, and believing. That he had a heart so soft he could simply believe. The tables of his heart were fleshy, not stony, and the Word could easily be written there.

Another thing: he didn't need to be out front. He wanted to be true and obedient, and he must have wanted the same for his posterity enough that he taught them not to bring him up--that they belonged to the prophet, they belonged to God.

I haven't read anything scholarly on this, I'm just saying my own take on the noble and (in my opinion) misunderstood character of Sam. 

Also, there's a good chance the world might be a better place if more of us were more concerned about obedience than recognition.