I have tried over the years to teach my kids to be reverent in church. We've tried various methods. We've had family night discussions on the topic. I've tried things like bringing coloring books or not bringing coloring books. We've done fruit snacks and no fruit snacks. We've tried our usual "delicate balance of threats and bribery." I'll never forget the Sunday when, during the sacrament, one of my children (all of whom have voices that carry supernaturally well) sang out clear as a bell, "Conjunction Junction, what's your function?"
Ah. Yes. Reverence in church.
What we've finally settled on is this: come in, sit down. Make sure you sing all the hymns. Listen as well as you can. It's okay to draw a little, or to have maybe one toy (nothing that beeps or clicks), but that paper or toy cannot come out of the bag until after the sacrament is over. As they get older, it's getting easier. Much easier. But there are still times when it's not a success. Like today.
For anyone who is reading this that hasn't been to a Mormon sacrament meeting, it's a full family affair, and sometimes it just isn't as quiet as we'd all like it to be. But we're striving! And it lasts about 65 minutes, the last 40 being talks given by assigned members of the congregation, the first 25 generally being song, prayer, announcements, business, and then the administering of the bread and water. It's the most important time to be solemn and reflective. We're encouraged to come weekly to receive this and to recommit to following God and to reconnect with the Holy Spirit in our lives, showing that we repent and will try again. Since we all fail. As you shall soon see.
Because today, there was a fail.
I had meetings before church today, which meant I wasn't home to monitor things. I wasn't particularly surprised when my 6 year old showed up with two different shoes: one little black sparkly shoe that's too small (a left shoe) juxtaposed with a pink Disney Princess croc. Also a left shoe. Yeah, I rolled my eyes. Should've totally finished the getting-the-girl-dressed job before I left. I had everything on her but the shoes. Alas.
The other kids looked fine.
But then, I made the mistake of not confiscating all the toys right before the meeting started. My sons had a friend sitting with them, so there were a lot of people between me and the littlest one. The Long Arm of the Mom was not quite long enough. But they knew the rules, right? Toys would stay hidden.
Wrong. Totally.
And worst of all, it was the most wrongest toy ever of all time. Made wronger by the 9 year old and her decorative mini-duct-tape supply.
When I should have been thinking about sacred things, I peeked open an eye and glanced down the pew. There, the six year old had out her doll. Not any doll. A Barbie. But not any Barbie. It was a male Barbie doll--a gift from the neighbor girl across the street: The Justin Bieber action figure Barbie.
And it had on no clothes.
Except the decorative mini-duct-tape placed strategically over his white plastic underwear. It was sparkly. And it had rainbow peace symbols on it. And it was at church.
And at that moment, I will sadly admit: reverence did not begin with me.
I am committed to trying harder next week. And to confiscating all such toys ahead of time.
